I No Longer Wish to be Human

I no longer wish to be human,

Confined to this cage of my own skin,

A body made of cells and dust.

I no longer wish to be human,

Confined to the name of my species,

Burdened by the mistakes of my forefathers,

Plagued with guilt for the future.

I no longer wish to be human,

Tied to the sins of my contemporaries,

Blamed for destruction I had no say in,

Burdened with the responsibility of cleaning up

Countless messes, none of which were ever mine.

I no longer wish to be human,

Subject to the judgement of those around me,

Suffocated by superiority and inferiority complexes,

Despite the fact that we are all the same.

I no longer wish to be human,

Subject to primal desires and irrational emotions,

At the command of the hormones,

Meaningless chemicals that run through my brain,

Dictating my each and every action.

I no longer wish to be human,

Bound to the roles that I must play,

Constantly reshaped by my designation,

Like normal students that were placed in a prison.

I no longer wish to be human,

Surrounded by the self-righteous, by those fueled by saviour complexes,

Being told which of my thoughts are and aren’t healthy,

Hearing suggestions that imply that I am unwell,

And that the world I built for myself is something I ought to be medicated for.

I no longer wish to be human,

Accompanied by a persistent feeling of drowning,

This feeling of falling through the world around,

Surrounded by nothing but the water

That I created for myself.

I no longer wish to be human,

In this society built upon machines.

Perhaps it’d be better if I were digital;

That’d certainly make me work better.

I no longer wish to be human;

Perhaps I’d enjoy existence more as a doll.

Perhaps I’d be able to cease this monotonous suffering

If I no longer needed to think for myself,

If my worth were a measure of my creator’s competency, rather than my own.

I no longer wish to be human.

Perhaps it’d be better if I were a string of ones and zeros;

Perhaps it’d be better if my body were made of metal,

And all of my thoughts were prewritten.

I want to be a mere drop of water in the sea,

Floating along, being carried by the waves.

I want to exist without needing to exist,

Brought for a ride, not needing to think.

I want to be a wisteria tree,

Bound to nothing but the earth and need to grow.

I want to sway along with the wind,

A beautiful splash of colour in this world of grey.

I want to be a doll made of porcelain and glass,

A pretty thing without the capacity to think,

A human form without the need to be human.

I want to be a bird in the sky,

Free to fly wherever I wish,

Weighed down by nothing, not even my own bones.

I want to be a tubular bell,

Needing nothing more than to resonate.

I want my sound to ring through the air,

Pressure waves becoming something ethereal.

I want to become one with the stars,

Seeking comfort in darkness, despite the way things are.

I want to sink into this feeling of nonexistence,

This feeling of unconsciousness, blanketed by space.